Post by darkmoon on Aug 10, 2006 23:15:51 GMT -5
Ok, here is one story I am not very proud to repeat, But this actually happened, and I think it has a very strong message in it. So here goes...
It was the end of May 1988. I was living in they haunted farm house when this happened. Not sure if it has any bearing on this story though. My youngest son was only 10 months old. His father had driven me over the edge with mental and physical abuse while I was pregnant. He had become very violent. We separated before my son was born, but the abuse from him never stopped. I had gone to get child support, and on the day he received his papers he came by to degrade me once more. Well I had had enough by then. I was at such a low point I didn't want to live anymore. So I paced my porch and planned my exit from this world. I went into the house, made my sons their favorite dinner, watched a movie with them as we snuggled on the couch, and then bathed the baby and put him to bed. My oldest son was 12 at the time and very responsible, so I left him in charge and told him I was going out for awhile. I also had a 10 year old too. I went to a local bar and began to drink shots and beer. I didn't want to feel it as my car slammed into the stone wall I had planned on hitting. The bar closed and I wasn't quite ready to do this, so I went to the club for a few more. It was raining and I was very drunk. So drunk in fact, that I had to thingy my head and close one eye to see where I was going. I was going about 90 when I came to the wall. (thats as fast as my little hornet would go) When right before I hit the wall, I saw all three of my boys sitting on the hood of my car holding onto each other, looking in at me. They had a look on their faces as if to be asking why? I whipped the wheel and hit it broadside. There was a huge stone block on the ground and I somehow ended up on top of it with all four tires off the ground. A tractor trailer driver had stopped when he witnessed the accident. I told him I was alright and that I had to go because I had three beautiful boys at home that needed their momma. He had told me I wasn't going anywhere because of sitting on the block. But I told him to stand back, I had to go. Now I have to tell you, I left the club at 3:30am. The accident was 3 minutes from the club. I was at the scene about two or three minutes only. OK, so I got back into the car, started it up and revved the engine, and while revving it I threw it into reverse. Something clanged under the car and I slipped off the block. I went back onto the highway and then took off. I had to make 4- 90 degree turns to get to my house. I parked the car behind my house and went inside. I looked at the clock and it read 4:50am. And I looked at the clock several times to make sure I wasn't reading it wrong. I also checked the clock in another room. Now after hitting that wall I was pretty well sober. Somehow I lost an hour. My body hurt terribly and I thought maybe I should have gone to the hospital, but knew that was not an option because of what just happened and why. So I lay down on the couch and awoke at 10:am. I thought to myself, how stupid I am, to let someone get me so far down. I went out to check the damage on my car. I knew it was bad, but you wouldn't believe it. My wheel well was embedded into the tread of my tire at least 1/4 of an inch, my hood was smashed, the radiator was pushed in so far that the fan cut the battery cable, and the battery itself had a hole in it. There was no way I could have started that car. It was impossible. And no way for me to steer it to make the 90 degree turns. I knew then that angels carried me home. (Or something else?) I gained strength to fight back that morning, and have never let anyone or anything get to me like that ever since. But I'd sure like to know what happened in that missing hour. I was hurt pretty bad, and had bad bruises on my ribs from hitting the door so hard, but I was alright. No cuts or broken bones. I had been living in a world of hell, and was rescued by heavens angels. At least this is what I believe.
It was the end of May 1988. I was living in they haunted farm house when this happened. Not sure if it has any bearing on this story though. My youngest son was only 10 months old. His father had driven me over the edge with mental and physical abuse while I was pregnant. He had become very violent. We separated before my son was born, but the abuse from him never stopped. I had gone to get child support, and on the day he received his papers he came by to degrade me once more. Well I had had enough by then. I was at such a low point I didn't want to live anymore. So I paced my porch and planned my exit from this world. I went into the house, made my sons their favorite dinner, watched a movie with them as we snuggled on the couch, and then bathed the baby and put him to bed. My oldest son was 12 at the time and very responsible, so I left him in charge and told him I was going out for awhile. I also had a 10 year old too. I went to a local bar and began to drink shots and beer. I didn't want to feel it as my car slammed into the stone wall I had planned on hitting. The bar closed and I wasn't quite ready to do this, so I went to the club for a few more. It was raining and I was very drunk. So drunk in fact, that I had to thingy my head and close one eye to see where I was going. I was going about 90 when I came to the wall. (thats as fast as my little hornet would go) When right before I hit the wall, I saw all three of my boys sitting on the hood of my car holding onto each other, looking in at me. They had a look on their faces as if to be asking why? I whipped the wheel and hit it broadside. There was a huge stone block on the ground and I somehow ended up on top of it with all four tires off the ground. A tractor trailer driver had stopped when he witnessed the accident. I told him I was alright and that I had to go because I had three beautiful boys at home that needed their momma. He had told me I wasn't going anywhere because of sitting on the block. But I told him to stand back, I had to go. Now I have to tell you, I left the club at 3:30am. The accident was 3 minutes from the club. I was at the scene about two or three minutes only. OK, so I got back into the car, started it up and revved the engine, and while revving it I threw it into reverse. Something clanged under the car and I slipped off the block. I went back onto the highway and then took off. I had to make 4- 90 degree turns to get to my house. I parked the car behind my house and went inside. I looked at the clock and it read 4:50am. And I looked at the clock several times to make sure I wasn't reading it wrong. I also checked the clock in another room. Now after hitting that wall I was pretty well sober. Somehow I lost an hour. My body hurt terribly and I thought maybe I should have gone to the hospital, but knew that was not an option because of what just happened and why. So I lay down on the couch and awoke at 10:am. I thought to myself, how stupid I am, to let someone get me so far down. I went out to check the damage on my car. I knew it was bad, but you wouldn't believe it. My wheel well was embedded into the tread of my tire at least 1/4 of an inch, my hood was smashed, the radiator was pushed in so far that the fan cut the battery cable, and the battery itself had a hole in it. There was no way I could have started that car. It was impossible. And no way for me to steer it to make the 90 degree turns. I knew then that angels carried me home. (Or something else?) I gained strength to fight back that morning, and have never let anyone or anything get to me like that ever since. But I'd sure like to know what happened in that missing hour. I was hurt pretty bad, and had bad bruises on my ribs from hitting the door so hard, but I was alright. No cuts or broken bones. I had been living in a world of hell, and was rescued by heavens angels. At least this is what I believe.
